So how are you feeling today?

I realize this is a normal part of being pregnant but how do you answer people when they keep asking 'so how are you feeling today?'. Most days I feel as if I may puke, pass out and pee all at once. Maybe while eating a turkey. But people don't want to know that. They want to hear you are doing just fine. I'm sure they also don't want to hear that my bra is too tight and my ulcer is going nuts thanks to the acid reflux I think is starting.

So why then ask? To be polite I'm sure. The thing is that it is hard for a pregnant women to just leave well enough alone. We want to spill all the details and gush about what the baby looks like now and each symptom. More so if it's her first. I know for most of the women I talk to it is because they want reassurance that everything they are going through is totally normal and they'll be just fine.

Even I hate hearing about it all the time. I don't always want to know how I'm doing on those days the bathroom is a dear friend and the only thing I can think about eating with out violent illness is a box of cereal.

Of course if you voice that to a women who's already had a baby they'll look at you and say 'just wait!'. I don't want to wait for more misery. Leave me to the miseray I have now.

Why thanks, I feel fat too

My pants that have snaps or buttons no longer fit well. I can no longer button or snap them up without feeling like I'm trying to cut myself in two. Now, I'm not really a thin girl by any means, but I will too feel fat as I gain baby and pregnancy weight like any other girl having a baby. So when I complain to my husband that I will be the size of a house when PtB is here and he laughs I want to kick him in the shins. Not that this would help.

At my first prenatal visit yesterday the doctor did tell me she wasn't overly concerned about my weight and would not be unless I begin to gain at an alarming rate. While she wasn't impressed with my frequent urges for fast food, she was happy that I'm choosing to have snacks like crackers, pretzels and fruits near me. I will also run and get some nuts and dried fruits to add to my snack baggie. Also, even though some of my food choices aren't the best I'm still around the caloric intake she wants me at. So her message, lay off the cheeseburger a couple of times and add a better snack.

My blood pressure was excellent. The nurse said she couldn't ask for better.

And given that I've not heard back from the doc after 24 hours I assume all 5 viles of blood they vampired from me is looking good too.

What my husband realize about pregnancy

Having a baby the first time is a learning experience for mom and dad. Mostly mom given she's the one who's body has gone fun house mirror but dad's learning too. Dad's learning curve has the look of a circle though.

When a women is pregnant she's got loads of books, the Girlfriend network and now the Internet to rely on. She'll be given advice some good and some bad. Others who have been there before her will cackle with glee as they disperse advice and dire warnings. While mom might be scared dad will blissfully unaware of most of the inner workings of pregnancy.

This leads me to the things that my husband doesn't realize about pregnancy.

1) I smell everything. The garbage must be changed every day there is no negotiation on that point. The second garbage gets more than 12 hours old I smell it while sitting on the couch in the living room. There must be a can of air spray at all times in the bathroom. The cat box has to be done one time a day at a minimum. I smell dinner before it's cooked now.

2) I am hungry now dammit. I cannot wait. I will not wait. I will eat a bag of rice un cooked right this second I'm so damn hungry. I will not hesitate to go through you to get to food.

3) If I say I have to pee this means at that moment in time. Like hunger, that can't wait.

4) When I have to sleep I have to sleep.

5) I am irrational. Be it my demand that the cats stop walking so loud or my request for gross, greasy, gas station nacho's at 3am. While I'm a big believer in the ideal of personal responsibility it can be hard to control the crazy when it starts. Further I don't know I'm being irrational most of the time.

Don't get my wrong, PtB's dad is great. He tries hard to be there for me and to not get bent out of shape about the crazy I throw around sometimes. I'd hate to give off the impression that he doesn't try. But he's never been good at remembering things like taking the trash out right away or that waiting 2 hours after deciding on dinner before getting it is probably not a great idea. Now that my body has begun to become some foreign place to me those things seem to be more pronounced. The biggest thing in his favor is that he's gives me a lot of rope to run on before he breaks down and wants to know if I'm completely insane.

Yes but is there a list for it?

Gummy bears as a nice treat. I realize I should feel guilty for mowing down a full bag but instead I comfort myself with the fact it was a small bag and they are a 'healthy' candy. Of course I won't remember any of this once the bag is gone and out of site. You see the baby sucks your brain like a tiny little zombie.

See right there. I started watching a TV show I'd forgotten was on. So I forgot to keep posting. Yesterday I went to get lunch, started driving and forgot what I was driving too. Though from what I understand over all what I'm experiencing is mild compared to other women go through. Still it's rather funny or sad depending on my mood that given day.

In an attempt to combat this baby sucked brain syndrome I write stuff down, if I can remember, then carry a list in my bag. But sometimes I forget that too. Oddly, the one thing I don't forget is eating. I'm good at that now.

Ever get so hungry you'd teat a box of mints?

This, by far, has been the biggest surprise to me about having a baby. I get so hungry that I will do anything I can to find some sort of food to swallow. And almost anything will do so long as you can have it now not later. My husband has been adjusting to that learning curve. Where in the past he could wait a few hours before getting dinner now he has about 15 minutes before I go into complete melt down yelling for the Whopper I asked for. I just can't wait.

Though, I can't decide if the urge to eat or the urge to pee is greater yet. They are probably about the same in urgency though one is more embarrassing than the other. I was a person who avoided public restrooms at all costs no matter what. I can no longer be that picky. I went to the state fair last evening because, as I told my friend on the phone there was food there. Even though it was in the upper 80's with a good deal of stickiness in the air I still needed to pee about every hour to two hours. It was s source of great amusement to my so called friends.

Though I must be honest now. No matter how many times I wonder if candle wax is filling or how often I rush out of my office in a hurry I never really resent these impositions. I never though I'd have a baby. My husband and I had given those thoughts up long ago and had gotten used to being a two and not a three. While I may laugh, get irritated or vomit my mostly decaf coffee back up most days I can't really get over the wonder of it all.